Now that I'm a Father

I don't really know what to say. I feel like I should have something to say but I really don't. Maybe it's the lack of sleep but I just don't feel like that is my son. How can someone like me even participate in the creation of someone so perfect like Jamin? I am humbled to think that God sees in me the ability to be this little guys father. I question that all the time. "God are you sure I can do this? Are you sure I can live the life that he needs me to live? Do I have what it takes?

I must because God didn't make a mistake when he made me Jamin's father. God must see something I don't.

My family came to visit me this afternoon. My mom and grandparents got to see Jamin for the first time. They were pretty excited. I was glad they go to to be here.

I've only got a couple more days off from work. I'm really bummed about that. The worst part of it all is that I haven't had one day since Jamin was born that I haven't recieved a phone call from work. On some occasions I get three or four calls from work. That has been the most draining part of it all. Just the simple fact that I'm already sleep deprived and not thinking clearly at times I get the phone calls from work that require me to think back weeks ago or think forward days ahead.

I don't want to return to work. I guess that's normal.

Father,
Please prepare me for the life that is ahead. I want to be such a good father to my son. I want to live a life that is inspiring and leading to Jamin. Help me to love as you love and be patient as you are patient. Please allow me to prosper as a provider for my family. Help me to see all the abundance you wish to bring into my life.

Father,
Please teach me humility. Strip from me all that is useless and unprofitable. Remove me from flattery and praise. Be the center of my life. Show me where you are working and please allow me to serve you there. Have me where you can best use me. No matter what!