Immanuel - God with us
4 years ago
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Communication
Everyone communicates but sometimes we don't realize we say more than the words we speak.
If we aren't careful our message can be lost in the tone, repetition or attitude in which we speak.
Communication is one of the most powerful tools we have to use, but sadly, myself and many others misuse and take forgranted the power behind our communication thus leaving the recipients of what we say at a loss of understanding.
It should be everyone's goal to communicate in a way that not only allows for our words to be heard but our hearts as well. If we are as concerned about communicating the heart of what we are saying as opposed to the selfishness we all possess in wanting to be heard, I think people would be a lot happier and less defeated when we stop talking to them.
If we aren't careful our message can be lost in the tone, repetition or attitude in which we speak.
Communication is one of the most powerful tools we have to use, but sadly, myself and many others misuse and take forgranted the power behind our communication thus leaving the recipients of what we say at a loss of understanding.
It should be everyone's goal to communicate in a way that not only allows for our words to be heard but our hearts as well. If we are as concerned about communicating the heart of what we are saying as opposed to the selfishness we all possess in wanting to be heard, I think people would be a lot happier and less defeated when we stop talking to them.
Monday, October 27, 2008
I Hate Being A Politician!
Always censored! Always calculated! Always with my "game face on." This just isn't me.
Be Careful!
Be Careful What You Pray For
You just might get it
Be Careful what you ask for
The answer might be yes
Be Careful what you dream for
Dreams can sometimes be foggy
Be Careful what you work for
The Achievment my let you down
Be Careful what you look for
You May not like what you see
Be Careful what you wish for
Or at least wish carefully
Be Careful what you live for
Because you may miss life entirely
Be Careful what you Pray for
Turns out God will give you something you don't expect.
You just might get it
Be Careful what you ask for
The answer might be yes
Be Careful what you dream for
Dreams can sometimes be foggy
Be Careful what you work for
The Achievment my let you down
Be Careful what you look for
You May not like what you see
Be Careful what you wish for
Or at least wish carefully
Be Careful what you live for
Because you may miss life entirely
Be Careful what you Pray for
Turns out God will give you something you don't expect.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Relationships Move Ministry
It's funny how things seem to come to me just at the right time.
Every week my pastor asks that I fill out a ministry report which tells him all the people I have contacted throughout the week and for what reasons. Usually I do ok with this. I make contact with plenty of members and prospects. I send cards, write letters and type emails and even go visit people every week. But lately, the past couple weeks really, I haven't had very many names on my report. Now, to give myself the benefit of the doubt the past two weeks have been short weeks with me taking days off and this past Monday was Labor Day. But still, I see that I need to be doing a better job at this.
I billed myself off as a relationships guy when this church was interviewing me. In the past that is what I've been. I've been all about getting connected with young people and making my influence appreciated in thier lives by being transparent, honest and consistent. Now that I'm full-time I'm finding that my normal approach is being hindered with all the planning, structuring, organizing and communicating I'm having to do with parents, teachers and workers. I know all this is good but I'm finding that I'm struggling to find an appropriate balance between the management and relationship aspects of my ministry.
I know that ultimately my programs aren't going to lead people to Christ. I know that my organizational charts aren't going to share the gospel and my ministry structure isn't going to change people's lives for Christ. It's going to be me. God has gifted me with the ability to share life with people. I'm an ordinary guy who is smart enough to hold conversations with most educated people but yet down to earth enough to connect with your every day guy. I'm somewhere in the middle of each class of people. I'm not rich, I'm not poor, I'm not a genius, I'm not an idiot, I'm not a workaholic, I'm not lazy, I'm not incredibly good looking, I'm not unfortunately ugly. I'm just an average guy but I think most people are just average people.
I know that if I'm going to be a tool in God's use to grow Grace Baptist Church I'm going to have to be exactly what God has created me to be and carry out the function of my design. The problem is all the pressure I feel. I think that's why I've lost some of myself and can't seem to find what I've lost. Over the past few weeks I've felt enormous pressure. Pressure to be liked, to be impressive, to bring results, to attract numbers and to perform in ministry. I hate this. I hate it that I can't just focus on the things I know will grow my kids. I know being organized is good and being a better planner is something I need to work on but trying to improve on the things I stink at has caused me to focus so little on the things I'm good at that I now seem to stink at those things too.
Father,
Help me to be what you desire for me to be. Help me to forget about all the pressure I feel from everyone except you. Lord, help me to please you and to not worry about pleasing anyone else. I trust that you will help me. I know you have brought me so far and you aren't going to leave me now. It's hard because I want to do so good. I want to be your man and I want to make you proud. I want to forget about everyone else's expectations and trust you with the results. You've given me everything I've ever asked for in ministry. It's not what I was expecting but it's what I was asking for. It's hard but I know it's good. I don't like it sometimes but I know I need it. Help me to persevere and grow. I love you and just want to make you proud.
Every week my pastor asks that I fill out a ministry report which tells him all the people I have contacted throughout the week and for what reasons. Usually I do ok with this. I make contact with plenty of members and prospects. I send cards, write letters and type emails and even go visit people every week. But lately, the past couple weeks really, I haven't had very many names on my report. Now, to give myself the benefit of the doubt the past two weeks have been short weeks with me taking days off and this past Monday was Labor Day. But still, I see that I need to be doing a better job at this.
I billed myself off as a relationships guy when this church was interviewing me. In the past that is what I've been. I've been all about getting connected with young people and making my influence appreciated in thier lives by being transparent, honest and consistent. Now that I'm full-time I'm finding that my normal approach is being hindered with all the planning, structuring, organizing and communicating I'm having to do with parents, teachers and workers. I know all this is good but I'm finding that I'm struggling to find an appropriate balance between the management and relationship aspects of my ministry.
I know that ultimately my programs aren't going to lead people to Christ. I know that my organizational charts aren't going to share the gospel and my ministry structure isn't going to change people's lives for Christ. It's going to be me. God has gifted me with the ability to share life with people. I'm an ordinary guy who is smart enough to hold conversations with most educated people but yet down to earth enough to connect with your every day guy. I'm somewhere in the middle of each class of people. I'm not rich, I'm not poor, I'm not a genius, I'm not an idiot, I'm not a workaholic, I'm not lazy, I'm not incredibly good looking, I'm not unfortunately ugly. I'm just an average guy but I think most people are just average people.
I know that if I'm going to be a tool in God's use to grow Grace Baptist Church I'm going to have to be exactly what God has created me to be and carry out the function of my design. The problem is all the pressure I feel. I think that's why I've lost some of myself and can't seem to find what I've lost. Over the past few weeks I've felt enormous pressure. Pressure to be liked, to be impressive, to bring results, to attract numbers and to perform in ministry. I hate this. I hate it that I can't just focus on the things I know will grow my kids. I know being organized is good and being a better planner is something I need to work on but trying to improve on the things I stink at has caused me to focus so little on the things I'm good at that I now seem to stink at those things too.
Father,
Help me to be what you desire for me to be. Help me to forget about all the pressure I feel from everyone except you. Lord, help me to please you and to not worry about pleasing anyone else. I trust that you will help me. I know you have brought me so far and you aren't going to leave me now. It's hard because I want to do so good. I want to be your man and I want to make you proud. I want to forget about everyone else's expectations and trust you with the results. You've given me everything I've ever asked for in ministry. It's not what I was expecting but it's what I was asking for. It's hard but I know it's good. I don't like it sometimes but I know I need it. Help me to persevere and grow. I love you and just want to make you proud.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Checking Back In.
A lot has changed in the past few weeks since I last posted anything. I've settled into my new job as a full-time student pastor. Our finances are getting back to normal and I'm loving all the time I have to spend at home after work. The kids at church are warming up to me pretty good. It's slow but it's happening. The Bellevue folksa are still around from time to time and they still treat us like we are one of them which is nice.
Jamin is growning and is really making Leslie and me very happy. He's so great.
I don't really have much to say right now even though I fee like I should. I'm not in a very inspired mood right now.
Check back later and maybe there will be something of value and depth.
Jamin is growning and is really making Leslie and me very happy. He's so great.
I don't really have much to say right now even though I fee like I should. I'm not in a very inspired mood right now.
Check back later and maybe there will be something of value and depth.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Settling In
So I'm just about a month into my new job as Full-Time Student Pastor of Grace Baptist Church in Springfield TN. It's been a pretty amazing month. God has shown me His greatness in so many different ways. One way is through the Pastor. Steve Freeman is truly a man whose heart beats with the passion of Christ. Another way is through the deacons. Thier devotion and willingness to follow the pastor has truly been amazing. I never thought that there would be a group of church leaders who would sincerely agree to put the kingdom of God above all other things, no matter what the cost may be. Third, the people of Grace have been such a reflection of the obedience of Christ. The pastor has stretched them, challenged them and they have responded in a mighty way. They have gladly done things in the past 2 months that they have never done before. Then, there are the kids. The students. Oh, how I love the students. They don't know it yet but I do. Amanda, Megan, Franklin, Scott, Stefanie, Chad, John D, E., John, John, John, Nikki, Elise, Danni, Matthew, Jesse, Autum, Lauren, Jeffrey, Joey, Christine, Cory, Cody. These are the people God has sent me to lead, love, lift up and enlighten. What a great responsibility God has trusted me with. And that is the most amazing way God has revealed His greatness to me. He has chosen me. There are so many other people more qualified than I am to do what I'm doing. I can think of a few that are here local who could do all this with more organization, more structure and more communication. But God chose me and I know me, I'm not anything special really. But God chose me.
Father,
You are the one who knows me better than anyone else. You see everything about me and yet you choose me. I don't know if you look past all my flaws or what but I do know that you could have chosen anyone to fill this position. I thank you for doing this for me. I love it here. Thank you.
Father,
You are the one who knows me better than anyone else. You see everything about me and yet you choose me. I don't know if you look past all my flaws or what but I do know that you could have chosen anyone to fill this position. I thank you for doing this for me. I love it here. Thank you.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Frustrated
Tonight marks the second stale message in a row that I've given at Grace. The problem with that, other than the obvious, is that I've only had two opportunities to speak a message a Grace. Sunday Night was very frustrating. Everyone has said I did a good job but those who know me best and have heard me when I was truly being led by God's spirit while I'm speaking know that I'm not comfortable yet. I sucks because these are the days of my first impressions. The first impression of myself is that I'm uptight, at a loss for meaningful words and at arms length. This is not what I want. I want to know that I'm saying things that are relevent and a way that is going to stick with the students. I don't feel like that right now.
I've done a lot of uncharacteric things lately also. I think I've placed too heavy of an expectation on myself to come in and change everything from the previous guy. I know we're in chapter two right now but I'm starting to think that maybe some of the things from Chapter one may be ok if they carry over. For instance, I changed the name of the Youth Worship Room from the Vault to The Student Worship Center. I loved it. It sounds intellegent, respectful and universal. The students however, didn't take to it. They didn't like it at all. It's not like me to come in and change things without running my ideas by the youth first. From now on that will be my practice.
I'm just really frustrated. I left a group that totally loved and respected me. We had inside jokes and knew each other intimately. We could sit around and talk nothing then turn the conversation into one of significance in an instance. We could share our hearts and speak openly of our love for each other. We could cry on each other's shoulders and laugh at each others silly quirks. We knew what to expect from each other and looked forward to seeing each other on Wednesday, Sundays, Tuesday night G.R.O.W., Friday night Open Door Policies and sometimes on Saturdays just to hang out. It came naturally. I didn't force it, I didn't have to try to crack into thier hearts, I just landed there one day. They took me in and allowed me to speak into thier lives with authority and trust. They needed me and I needed them but most of all we needed God and found Him while in the company of each other. This is so hard to not be with them.
To my new group, I love you. This is more than a job to me. You are all a passion and calling in my life. I will do anything for you. I know it's going to take time and you have to learn to adjust to me and me to you. I feel like I've been pushing a little, not much but more than I usually do. It's only because I want to have with you what I've had with my last group. I want to connect with you on a level that tells you that I'm here for you no matter what and that I will always listen, love and accept you for who you are. I don't know when that will happen but I'm committed to you so I know it will. I also want you to know that this isn't my youth group and it's not your youth group. This is OUR youth group. We get to do all this together. You will teach me and I will teach you. We'll grow together, laugh together and cry together. We will face disaster and times of joy knowing that we are there for each other. Most of all, we will find God on deeper levels than we could have imagined together.
I hope this has all made some sense. Basically, I'm not where I want to be with my new group, and it frustrates me to no end because I know how good it is when we all connect deeply. I can't wait for that to happen.
I've done a lot of uncharacteric things lately also. I think I've placed too heavy of an expectation on myself to come in and change everything from the previous guy. I know we're in chapter two right now but I'm starting to think that maybe some of the things from Chapter one may be ok if they carry over. For instance, I changed the name of the Youth Worship Room from the Vault to The Student Worship Center. I loved it. It sounds intellegent, respectful and universal. The students however, didn't take to it. They didn't like it at all. It's not like me to come in and change things without running my ideas by the youth first. From now on that will be my practice.
I'm just really frustrated. I left a group that totally loved and respected me. We had inside jokes and knew each other intimately. We could sit around and talk nothing then turn the conversation into one of significance in an instance. We could share our hearts and speak openly of our love for each other. We could cry on each other's shoulders and laugh at each others silly quirks. We knew what to expect from each other and looked forward to seeing each other on Wednesday, Sundays, Tuesday night G.R.O.W., Friday night Open Door Policies and sometimes on Saturdays just to hang out. It came naturally. I didn't force it, I didn't have to try to crack into thier hearts, I just landed there one day. They took me in and allowed me to speak into thier lives with authority and trust. They needed me and I needed them but most of all we needed God and found Him while in the company of each other. This is so hard to not be with them.
To my new group, I love you. This is more than a job to me. You are all a passion and calling in my life. I will do anything for you. I know it's going to take time and you have to learn to adjust to me and me to you. I feel like I've been pushing a little, not much but more than I usually do. It's only because I want to have with you what I've had with my last group. I want to connect with you on a level that tells you that I'm here for you no matter what and that I will always listen, love and accept you for who you are. I don't know when that will happen but I'm committed to you so I know it will. I also want you to know that this isn't my youth group and it's not your youth group. This is OUR youth group. We get to do all this together. You will teach me and I will teach you. We'll grow together, laugh together and cry together. We will face disaster and times of joy knowing that we are there for each other. Most of all, we will find God on deeper levels than we could have imagined together.
I hope this has all made some sense. Basically, I'm not where I want to be with my new group, and it frustrates me to no end because I know how good it is when we all connect deeply. I can't wait for that to happen.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Are you sure?
Father,
What about me would lead you to conclude that I would be good at this? You know me better than anyone. You know my failures, my character flaws, my habits and tendencies. You know I'm who I am so why? Why me? I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything. More so than ever have I begun to realize that I don't deserve anything from you. I take that back...I deserve your wrath. It just doesn't make sense that you would see in me what you see and bless me instead of blast me.
Even in the midst of the pain that is my struggle I am totally humiliated in knowing that you still love me. Me! But I'm sinful! I'm lazy! I'm a procrastinator! I'm selfish! I've been know to tell a lie! I don't get it! What are you doing. I can think of several others who would do such a better job than me. Why not one of them? Why me? Why now? Why this?
It doesn't make sense. You could do so much better. Why waste your time on me? There are more obedient, more faithful, more humble people out there. Why me?
I'll do it! Of Course I'll Do It. But are you sure? Are you sure you want me?
What about me would lead you to conclude that I would be good at this? You know me better than anyone. You know my failures, my character flaws, my habits and tendencies. You know I'm who I am so why? Why me? I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything. More so than ever have I begun to realize that I don't deserve anything from you. I take that back...I deserve your wrath. It just doesn't make sense that you would see in me what you see and bless me instead of blast me.
Even in the midst of the pain that is my struggle I am totally humiliated in knowing that you still love me. Me! But I'm sinful! I'm lazy! I'm a procrastinator! I'm selfish! I've been know to tell a lie! I don't get it! What are you doing. I can think of several others who would do such a better job than me. Why not one of them? Why me? Why now? Why this?
It doesn't make sense. You could do so much better. Why waste your time on me? There are more obedient, more faithful, more humble people out there. Why me?
I'll do it! Of Course I'll Do It. But are you sure? Are you sure you want me?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Paul Washer
This is one of my favorite preachers preaching what I love to hear, the truth. This sermon was recorded at a Youth Evangelism Conference some years ago. You can find the entire sermon on Godtube.com.
I just pray that God would equip me to speak with the same authority and zeal.
I just pray that God would equip me to speak with the same authority and zeal.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Transition
So...let me tell you this...I feel like a real, taken serious, respected minister. Not that I don't think my ministry up to this point hasn't been real or serious but now that I am transitioning into a full-time position I feel different.
Let me open up the difference and try to put it all out there at least so I can see it.
The difference is that I've spoken with my new pastor in the past two weeks more than I've talked to my current pastor in a couple months. He checks in on me. He takes me out to lunch. He emails me with ideas for the ministry and spends time invisioning our futures as ministers together. This is what I've been looking for. Not a pastor who rarely makes time to meet with me, has no real opinion on what I should or should not be doing, and has never taken me out to lunch or spent time casting vision with me for anything. Not that my current pastor isn't a great man. Don't get me wrong he is very compassionate, caring, educated and loving. He just doesn't invest in me like I had hoped a man who is my ministry superior would. So there is difference number one.
Number two would be that there won't be the distraction of a secular job anymore. Thursday is my last day at Chick-fil-A and I can't wait to take off that responsibility and pass it along to someone else. Again, please don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say here. Robert has been a good enough boss. He hasn't hounded me when things didn't get done he has been real good at letting me do the job the way I wanted to do the job and has worked with me where most bosses wouldn't. But knowing that there won't be anymore 7:00am phone calls asking me when I'm coming in is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things I'm not going to miss about CFA. I know I'll still get phone calls but hopefully they'll be from people who really need me, not people who just want to bug me.
Third will be the drive. If anyone really knows me you know I'm not a city boy by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not a redneck either. I just like things to be slower. I like being able to drive and relax. I hate bumper to bumper traffic. At Grace I won't ever have to worry about this.
Lastly and probably the most significant difference is my dream, my desire has come true. I am going to be a full-time youth pastor. I get to go to work knowing that everything I do, even the most small and insignificant task holds eternal impact in the lives of teens. I finally feel like God sees in me what I hoped for so long He did. By being called into this ministry I feel like God is telling me I've got what it takes to step up into the big leagues of ministry.
There are so many expectations but I'll let God worry about that. I'll just do my best to be obedient, dillegent and faithful. I will seek God with all that is within me. I will praise Him through the darkest times of pain and sorrow as well as the times of indescribable joy. I will trust Him with my Bellevue group. After all, He loves them so much more than I do and is much more capable of giving them what they need regardless of what one man who appears to have a say on what the church will or will not support says. God's purpose will be accomplished and those kids will have what they need, whatever that may be.
I will trust him wiht my new group. I will trust that if I become transparent and open myself to them then they will accept me and take me as their own. I will invest in and serve those God has entrusted to me now and worry about those He will send to me later. I will be God's man.
Pray for me because I'm terrified. I've never done this before, my life has never been this way nad I don't want to miss any of it. I love God. I love my family and I love this ministry. I just want to be God's man.
Let me open up the difference and try to put it all out there at least so I can see it.
The difference is that I've spoken with my new pastor in the past two weeks more than I've talked to my current pastor in a couple months. He checks in on me. He takes me out to lunch. He emails me with ideas for the ministry and spends time invisioning our futures as ministers together. This is what I've been looking for. Not a pastor who rarely makes time to meet with me, has no real opinion on what I should or should not be doing, and has never taken me out to lunch or spent time casting vision with me for anything. Not that my current pastor isn't a great man. Don't get me wrong he is very compassionate, caring, educated and loving. He just doesn't invest in me like I had hoped a man who is my ministry superior would. So there is difference number one.
Number two would be that there won't be the distraction of a secular job anymore. Thursday is my last day at Chick-fil-A and I can't wait to take off that responsibility and pass it along to someone else. Again, please don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say here. Robert has been a good enough boss. He hasn't hounded me when things didn't get done he has been real good at letting me do the job the way I wanted to do the job and has worked with me where most bosses wouldn't. But knowing that there won't be anymore 7:00am phone calls asking me when I'm coming in is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things I'm not going to miss about CFA. I know I'll still get phone calls but hopefully they'll be from people who really need me, not people who just want to bug me.
Third will be the drive. If anyone really knows me you know I'm not a city boy by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not a redneck either. I just like things to be slower. I like being able to drive and relax. I hate bumper to bumper traffic. At Grace I won't ever have to worry about this.
Lastly and probably the most significant difference is my dream, my desire has come true. I am going to be a full-time youth pastor. I get to go to work knowing that everything I do, even the most small and insignificant task holds eternal impact in the lives of teens. I finally feel like God sees in me what I hoped for so long He did. By being called into this ministry I feel like God is telling me I've got what it takes to step up into the big leagues of ministry.
There are so many expectations but I'll let God worry about that. I'll just do my best to be obedient, dillegent and faithful. I will seek God with all that is within me. I will praise Him through the darkest times of pain and sorrow as well as the times of indescribable joy. I will trust Him with my Bellevue group. After all, He loves them so much more than I do and is much more capable of giving them what they need regardless of what one man who appears to have a say on what the church will or will not support says. God's purpose will be accomplished and those kids will have what they need, whatever that may be.
I will trust him wiht my new group. I will trust that if I become transparent and open myself to them then they will accept me and take me as their own. I will invest in and serve those God has entrusted to me now and worry about those He will send to me later. I will be God's man.
Pray for me because I'm terrified. I've never done this before, my life has never been this way nad I don't want to miss any of it. I love God. I love my family and I love this ministry. I just want to be God's man.
Friday, June 13, 2008
This Sunday's Sermon
The Discovery of Faith through Jonathan’s Example
Tonight I want to share a message with all of you that God has laid on my heart. The message tonight is called The Discovery of Faith through Jonathan’s Example. We will be looking mostly at the first six verses in Hebrews Chapter 11 and the story of Jonathan found in the 14th chapter of 1 Samuel.
Pray
Father, please help us to hear your voice tonight. Challenge us and convict us to live lives of faith. True faith as your word demands. Lord, may these examples we are about to look at open the eyes of our hearts and awaken a life of faith in each of us.
Mostly Father, please find that my attempts to speak on your behalf have already failed. So please grant me your wisdom. Allow me to speak humbly but passionately the truth that you have asked me to speak.
Amen.
Hebrews 11:1 – 6
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the men of old gained approval. By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks. By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; and he was not found because God took him up; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God. And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”
I. Faith is being confident of God’s ability to come through for you.
Let’s look now at the story in 1 Samuel 14. To bring everyone up to speed on this story; Saul is the King of Israel at the time and Samuel the prophet had given Saul pre-battle instructions which Saul ended up ignoring and thus sinning against the Lord. Samuel finds out and rebukes Saul and Saul falls apart. He freezes and refuses to act out the mission God had initially given him. Catching up with the story in verse 6:
“Then Jonathan said to the young man who was carrying his armor, ‘Come and let us cross over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; perhaps the Lord will work for us, for the Lord is not restrained to save by many or by few.’”
Did you catch that? Perhaps? Jonathan is advancing on perhaps the Lord will work for him! That’s crazy! No one does that. And therein lays the problem with Christians today. No one does that!
We have meetings and committees and procedures and policies that bind and confine those “perhaps” moments in life. We strangle the spontaneity out of our relationships with God and reduce his activity to what we can predict.
Let me tell you all tonight this very important truth about God. You can not predict how God will come through for you, but you can prevent Him from being able to.
If you read the rest of the 11th chapter of Hebrews you see story after story of people who stepped into mystery and danger by faith and saw God come through. No two outcomes were the same in detail but all were identical in overall results. God was glorified. If God is going to be glorified in your life and in this church you must allow Him to be as original as He pleases. What ever caused the notion to enter our minds that the way we’ve always done it is the way it must be done? Sometimes I wonder if we’ve become apathetic to what pleases God most in the attempt to preserve predictability in our spiritual lives. I suggest to you tonight that it is impossible to maintain a fire for God’s pleasure while dousing it with the extinguishing effects of human control. We control everything we possibly can. Think about it. We control the temperature in our house, the channel on T.V. the clothes we wear, the jobs we have, the foods we eat. We control who our friends are. We control our checking accounts and our savings. We are driven to control because we take rest in routine. We fear being inconvenienced. When in fact if you will be truly used by God to the fullest degree you must embrace inconvenience. Jonathan was willing to inconvenience himself to the greatest measure by engaging in battle with the Philistines. The remarkable thing is he did it without knowing if God was going to come through. But he was willing to be used for the Glory of God. Nothing else. He looks at his armor bearer and says, “Let’s go pick a fight.” He doesn’t evaluate the situation and cast votes and tally the pros and cons. He sees an opportunity to be used by God and he says, “Let’s Go!” Well what about this or what about that? “No! Let’s Go.” Perhaps the Lord will work for us. Not because He has to, but because He is able.
Perhaps.
II. Faith is the ability to trust in God’s power and His trustworthiness to bring about the results that will reflect His glory best.
Next on Jonathan’s story something absolutely amazing happens. What is so amazing is that Jonathan was a commander over a portion of his father’s army and this plan is the best he can come up with.
Verse 8: “Then Jonathan said, ‘behold, we will cross over to the men and reveal ourselves to them.’”
Verse 9: “If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you’; then we will stand in our place and not go up to them.”
Verse 10: “But if they say, ‘Come up to us.’ Then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hands; and this shall be the sign to us.”
Are any of you hearing this and thinking to yourselves, WOW, what a great plan? I hope not because it is a terrible plan. First off in his masterpiece of military intelligence he proposes right off the bat that they expose themselves to the enemy. Think about this for a moment. They have two in their squad, and let me add, only one sword between them and they are facing about 20 armed and trained soldiers. It would most definitely be to their benefit to advance with the element of surprise. But not this man of faith. His plan starts out by eliminating any chance that people could hear the story and say, “well, Jonathan was clever and it worked out for him.” If victory was to be had on their behalf Jonathan is choosing to advance in a way that leaves no question as to by whom the victory came. So the first part of the plan is to show themselves to the enemy.
The second part of the plan gets even more disturbing when taking into consideration that Jonathan isn’t a complete idiot. Listen to what the rest of his plan consists of.
Verse 9: “If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you’; then we will stand in our place and not go up to them.”
Verse 10: “But if they say, ‘Come up to us.’ Then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hands; and this shall be the sign to us.”
The first part of the plan is to expose themselves to the enemy; the second part of the plan is to allow the enemy to set the terms for battle. Again, Jonathan must be crazy. It makes no sense as to why he would place his very own life and the life of his armor bearer on the line and have such a moronic plan. But that is the way we see this part of biblical history unfolding. Jonathan is standing, literally in the gap between two cliffs, nowhere to run and by his very own design, no place to hide. He is allowing the enemy the luxury of devising the terms on which the battle will take place and he seems all the while perfectly content and even confident. Why? Faith! Jonathan is perfectly satisfied in knowing that he is seeking the pleasure of a God who is big enough, strong enough, smart enough and loving enough to bring about the results that will reflect His own glory best. Jonathan has absolutely no regard for his own reputation or safety. Can you imagine if Jonathan had been interviewed on his tactics during this event? Then as his story becomes public knowledge, the ridicule and mocking he would have received. Let alone trying to get a job as a commander on future military missions. But he forsakes all that for the sole purpose of seeking God’s glory. Faith is the ability to trust in God’s power and His trustworthiness to bring about the results that will reflect His glory best. Do you want to know what happened?
Look at verse 23: “So the Lord delivered Israel that day and the battle spread beyond Beth-aven.”
Who gets the credit? The Lord! In the pages of history, God goes down as the one who came through for Israel. Jonathan takes his rightful place on the long list of faithful servant, but it is the Lord who receives the praise and the glory for evermore.
Jonathan steps into uncertainty and places all he has in “Perhaps the Lord will work for us, for the Lord is not restrained to save by many or by few.” Did God have to come through? No. Would God have still been just as and holy as He always had been? Yes. But does God invite us into these “perhaps” situations in life so that we can allow Him to display his power and glory through our lives? Absolutely. God loves to come through for his people. He’s been doing it all throughout history because he loves to bring about, through the most inconceivable circumstances, the results that will reflect His glory best.
I am assuming that some of you tonight have some criticisms towards what I’ve shared with you tonight. That’s ok. I understand that many of you have lived your entire lives safely and securely by minimizing the element of risk in your life. Some of you even bring that attitude towards living into the life of the church. We’ve all heard it said in business meetings before that faith is good and all but we’ve got to use our common sense. Oh how my heart breaks when those words are spoken. Because according to the Holy word of God that statement has no place in the dealings of the church. This type of statement is spoken be a person who serves a small God. A God who can’t possibly work through worldly conditions to bring about any type of result worthy of one true God in Heaven. When someone says, Faith is good and all but we’ve got to use our common sense what is being said here is that my God isn’t big enough. So we fit God into our own understanding and line him up with our way of thinking. Doesn’t Isaiah 55:8 say “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, declares the Lord”? Doesn’t Proverbs 3:5 teach is to Trust in the Lord with all our hearts and to not lean on our own understanding. Don’t we see over and over and over again example after example of mighty individuals of faith doing things that would completely shatter the bounds of common sense? Did Peter walking to Jesus on the water make sense? Did it make sense that Joseph would still marry a girl who was pregnant with a child not his own? Did Noah make any sense while building the ark? Listen to me! We may not know that results but one thing I will promise you with all the truth I have in me to offer is that God will stack the odds against logic and reason for the sake of proving Himself and His Glory to the world through our obedience.
One last thing. Turn back to Hebrews 11:6.
“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
You see, the ultimate end of every human being is to find God. How do we do that? Faith.
III. Faith is the key to receiving the greatest gift imaginable, God Himself.
Do you see in verse 6 how pleasing God and seeking God are indivisible? Look at it. In one statement we read that it is impossible to please God without faith. Then in the very next statement we read that God is the rewarder of those who seek him. How do you seek God? Have faith in God. How does God respond to our faith? He blesses us with Himself. Generally speaking of the state of Christianity as I have experienced it, we Christians don’t have God as God desires for us to have Him because we don’t seek God as God desires for us to seek Him.
We don’t seek God as God desires for us to seek Him because we have not the faith in God that is required to please Him.
Does anyone have a problem with that? Is anyone willing to do anything about it tonight?
Tonight I want to share a message with all of you that God has laid on my heart. The message tonight is called The Discovery of Faith through Jonathan’s Example. We will be looking mostly at the first six verses in Hebrews Chapter 11 and the story of Jonathan found in the 14th chapter of 1 Samuel.
Pray
Father, please help us to hear your voice tonight. Challenge us and convict us to live lives of faith. True faith as your word demands. Lord, may these examples we are about to look at open the eyes of our hearts and awaken a life of faith in each of us.
Mostly Father, please find that my attempts to speak on your behalf have already failed. So please grant me your wisdom. Allow me to speak humbly but passionately the truth that you have asked me to speak.
Amen.
Hebrews 11:1 – 6
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the men of old gained approval. By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks. By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; and he was not found because God took him up; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God. And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”
I. Faith is being confident of God’s ability to come through for you.
Let’s look now at the story in 1 Samuel 14. To bring everyone up to speed on this story; Saul is the King of Israel at the time and Samuel the prophet had given Saul pre-battle instructions which Saul ended up ignoring and thus sinning against the Lord. Samuel finds out and rebukes Saul and Saul falls apart. He freezes and refuses to act out the mission God had initially given him. Catching up with the story in verse 6:
“Then Jonathan said to the young man who was carrying his armor, ‘Come and let us cross over to the garrison of these uncircumcised; perhaps the Lord will work for us, for the Lord is not restrained to save by many or by few.’”
Did you catch that? Perhaps? Jonathan is advancing on perhaps the Lord will work for him! That’s crazy! No one does that. And therein lays the problem with Christians today. No one does that!
We have meetings and committees and procedures and policies that bind and confine those “perhaps” moments in life. We strangle the spontaneity out of our relationships with God and reduce his activity to what we can predict.
Let me tell you all tonight this very important truth about God. You can not predict how God will come through for you, but you can prevent Him from being able to.
If you read the rest of the 11th chapter of Hebrews you see story after story of people who stepped into mystery and danger by faith and saw God come through. No two outcomes were the same in detail but all were identical in overall results. God was glorified. If God is going to be glorified in your life and in this church you must allow Him to be as original as He pleases. What ever caused the notion to enter our minds that the way we’ve always done it is the way it must be done? Sometimes I wonder if we’ve become apathetic to what pleases God most in the attempt to preserve predictability in our spiritual lives. I suggest to you tonight that it is impossible to maintain a fire for God’s pleasure while dousing it with the extinguishing effects of human control. We control everything we possibly can. Think about it. We control the temperature in our house, the channel on T.V. the clothes we wear, the jobs we have, the foods we eat. We control who our friends are. We control our checking accounts and our savings. We are driven to control because we take rest in routine. We fear being inconvenienced. When in fact if you will be truly used by God to the fullest degree you must embrace inconvenience. Jonathan was willing to inconvenience himself to the greatest measure by engaging in battle with the Philistines. The remarkable thing is he did it without knowing if God was going to come through. But he was willing to be used for the Glory of God. Nothing else. He looks at his armor bearer and says, “Let’s go pick a fight.” He doesn’t evaluate the situation and cast votes and tally the pros and cons. He sees an opportunity to be used by God and he says, “Let’s Go!” Well what about this or what about that? “No! Let’s Go.” Perhaps the Lord will work for us. Not because He has to, but because He is able.
Perhaps.
II. Faith is the ability to trust in God’s power and His trustworthiness to bring about the results that will reflect His glory best.
Next on Jonathan’s story something absolutely amazing happens. What is so amazing is that Jonathan was a commander over a portion of his father’s army and this plan is the best he can come up with.
Verse 8: “Then Jonathan said, ‘behold, we will cross over to the men and reveal ourselves to them.’”
Verse 9: “If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you’; then we will stand in our place and not go up to them.”
Verse 10: “But if they say, ‘Come up to us.’ Then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hands; and this shall be the sign to us.”
Are any of you hearing this and thinking to yourselves, WOW, what a great plan? I hope not because it is a terrible plan. First off in his masterpiece of military intelligence he proposes right off the bat that they expose themselves to the enemy. Think about this for a moment. They have two in their squad, and let me add, only one sword between them and they are facing about 20 armed and trained soldiers. It would most definitely be to their benefit to advance with the element of surprise. But not this man of faith. His plan starts out by eliminating any chance that people could hear the story and say, “well, Jonathan was clever and it worked out for him.” If victory was to be had on their behalf Jonathan is choosing to advance in a way that leaves no question as to by whom the victory came. So the first part of the plan is to show themselves to the enemy.
The second part of the plan gets even more disturbing when taking into consideration that Jonathan isn’t a complete idiot. Listen to what the rest of his plan consists of.
Verse 9: “If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you’; then we will stand in our place and not go up to them.”
Verse 10: “But if they say, ‘Come up to us.’ Then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hands; and this shall be the sign to us.”
The first part of the plan is to expose themselves to the enemy; the second part of the plan is to allow the enemy to set the terms for battle. Again, Jonathan must be crazy. It makes no sense as to why he would place his very own life and the life of his armor bearer on the line and have such a moronic plan. But that is the way we see this part of biblical history unfolding. Jonathan is standing, literally in the gap between two cliffs, nowhere to run and by his very own design, no place to hide. He is allowing the enemy the luxury of devising the terms on which the battle will take place and he seems all the while perfectly content and even confident. Why? Faith! Jonathan is perfectly satisfied in knowing that he is seeking the pleasure of a God who is big enough, strong enough, smart enough and loving enough to bring about the results that will reflect His own glory best. Jonathan has absolutely no regard for his own reputation or safety. Can you imagine if Jonathan had been interviewed on his tactics during this event? Then as his story becomes public knowledge, the ridicule and mocking he would have received. Let alone trying to get a job as a commander on future military missions. But he forsakes all that for the sole purpose of seeking God’s glory. Faith is the ability to trust in God’s power and His trustworthiness to bring about the results that will reflect His glory best. Do you want to know what happened?
Look at verse 23: “So the Lord delivered Israel that day and the battle spread beyond Beth-aven.”
Who gets the credit? The Lord! In the pages of history, God goes down as the one who came through for Israel. Jonathan takes his rightful place on the long list of faithful servant, but it is the Lord who receives the praise and the glory for evermore.
Jonathan steps into uncertainty and places all he has in “Perhaps the Lord will work for us, for the Lord is not restrained to save by many or by few.” Did God have to come through? No. Would God have still been just as and holy as He always had been? Yes. But does God invite us into these “perhaps” situations in life so that we can allow Him to display his power and glory through our lives? Absolutely. God loves to come through for his people. He’s been doing it all throughout history because he loves to bring about, through the most inconceivable circumstances, the results that will reflect His glory best.
I am assuming that some of you tonight have some criticisms towards what I’ve shared with you tonight. That’s ok. I understand that many of you have lived your entire lives safely and securely by minimizing the element of risk in your life. Some of you even bring that attitude towards living into the life of the church. We’ve all heard it said in business meetings before that faith is good and all but we’ve got to use our common sense. Oh how my heart breaks when those words are spoken. Because according to the Holy word of God that statement has no place in the dealings of the church. This type of statement is spoken be a person who serves a small God. A God who can’t possibly work through worldly conditions to bring about any type of result worthy of one true God in Heaven. When someone says, Faith is good and all but we’ve got to use our common sense what is being said here is that my God isn’t big enough. So we fit God into our own understanding and line him up with our way of thinking. Doesn’t Isaiah 55:8 say “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, declares the Lord”? Doesn’t Proverbs 3:5 teach is to Trust in the Lord with all our hearts and to not lean on our own understanding. Don’t we see over and over and over again example after example of mighty individuals of faith doing things that would completely shatter the bounds of common sense? Did Peter walking to Jesus on the water make sense? Did it make sense that Joseph would still marry a girl who was pregnant with a child not his own? Did Noah make any sense while building the ark? Listen to me! We may not know that results but one thing I will promise you with all the truth I have in me to offer is that God will stack the odds against logic and reason for the sake of proving Himself and His Glory to the world through our obedience.
One last thing. Turn back to Hebrews 11:6.
“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
You see, the ultimate end of every human being is to find God. How do we do that? Faith.
III. Faith is the key to receiving the greatest gift imaginable, God Himself.
Do you see in verse 6 how pleasing God and seeking God are indivisible? Look at it. In one statement we read that it is impossible to please God without faith. Then in the very next statement we read that God is the rewarder of those who seek him. How do you seek God? Have faith in God. How does God respond to our faith? He blesses us with Himself. Generally speaking of the state of Christianity as I have experienced it, we Christians don’t have God as God desires for us to have Him because we don’t seek God as God desires for us to seek Him.
We don’t seek God as God desires for us to seek Him because we have not the faith in God that is required to please Him.
Does anyone have a problem with that? Is anyone willing to do anything about it tonight?
Saturday, May 31, 2008
New Orleans
So we leave for New Orleans in just a few hours. Something like 13 hours from now we will head south in hopes of finding the joy that is only discovered in Glorifying God.
First off I would just like to let you all know that I hate Satan. He's just a jerk and I'm so tired of his crap.
Secondly I love God. I love God because no one is more worthy or has done more for me. What has God done for me? He has saved me from eternal seperation from the most wonderful thing in the universe. He has rescued me from eternal punishment and wrath. He has made a way for me, in spite of all my sin, selfishness, pride, and lust for the things of this world. God is Good. He is enough. In Him do I find the satisfaction that my soul desires.
Please Lord,
Help me to lead this week with faith in you ever minute of every day. Use me as your man to do whatever you would have me do. This trip is yours, the kids are yours, the work is yours, all is yours. Please do with it what you will. Remove our agendas. Unite our hearts and minds under the leadership of your Holy Spirit among us. Motivate us and give us a thirst for hard work. Prepare us and them for the week to come. Thank you for choosing us.
First off I would just like to let you all know that I hate Satan. He's just a jerk and I'm so tired of his crap.
Secondly I love God. I love God because no one is more worthy or has done more for me. What has God done for me? He has saved me from eternal seperation from the most wonderful thing in the universe. He has rescued me from eternal punishment and wrath. He has made a way for me, in spite of all my sin, selfishness, pride, and lust for the things of this world. God is Good. He is enough. In Him do I find the satisfaction that my soul desires.
Please Lord,
Help me to lead this week with faith in you ever minute of every day. Use me as your man to do whatever you would have me do. This trip is yours, the kids are yours, the work is yours, all is yours. Please do with it what you will. Remove our agendas. Unite our hearts and minds under the leadership of your Holy Spirit among us. Motivate us and give us a thirst for hard work. Prepare us and them for the week to come. Thank you for choosing us.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
New Jamin Pictures
Here are some more recent pictures of the little guy. He's doing great and is growing just fine. We love you all and thank you for all your gifts and cards.
Can I?
Lord,
Can I pray like I want? Can I forget that what you want for me may be different than my desires? Can I ask you for the grand, the big, the high? Can I ask you for change? Can I ask you for what I really just want the most? Can I be honest now Lord?
I know I should pray that your will be done and that my will come second. But my hopes are so high. I want this so badly. In my mind it would fix things. Make things more easy to manage. More time, more rest, more ministry. Can I ask you for it Lord?
Will you consider my plea? Or have you already made up your mind? Can I lay my desires, my hearts deepest desire at your feet and trust you that you won't crush my dreams? Can I ask you for it? Will you give me what I want? Is it wrong to ask this?
Lord, Sure, I want what you want, it's just sometimes I want what you want to be what I want. How long will I be here? Have I put in enough time? Have I paid my dues? When will the opportunity come? Will it ever come? Can I ask you for it?
You know what is best that is obvious. All my life you have proven your goodness to me over and over again. You are my Good Father who loves me and is for me. So can I ask you for it? Will you give it to me?
I know it will be hard. I know it will be a challenge and I know it will stretch me in directions I have no experience in. But will you give it to me? Can I ask you for it Father?
I know I don't deserve it. I know I haven't earned it. I know it's so much bigger than myself but can I ask you for it anyways? Will you give it to me God?
Please?
Can I pray like I want? Can I forget that what you want for me may be different than my desires? Can I ask you for the grand, the big, the high? Can I ask you for change? Can I ask you for what I really just want the most? Can I be honest now Lord?
I know I should pray that your will be done and that my will come second. But my hopes are so high. I want this so badly. In my mind it would fix things. Make things more easy to manage. More time, more rest, more ministry. Can I ask you for it Lord?
Will you consider my plea? Or have you already made up your mind? Can I lay my desires, my hearts deepest desire at your feet and trust you that you won't crush my dreams? Can I ask you for it? Will you give me what I want? Is it wrong to ask this?
Lord, Sure, I want what you want, it's just sometimes I want what you want to be what I want. How long will I be here? Have I put in enough time? Have I paid my dues? When will the opportunity come? Will it ever come? Can I ask you for it?
You know what is best that is obvious. All my life you have proven your goodness to me over and over again. You are my Good Father who loves me and is for me. So can I ask you for it? Will you give it to me?
I know it will be hard. I know it will be a challenge and I know it will stretch me in directions I have no experience in. But will you give it to me? Can I ask you for it Father?
I know I don't deserve it. I know I haven't earned it. I know it's so much bigger than myself but can I ask you for it anyways? Will you give it to me God?
Please?
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Random Thoughts from a Sleepless Mind
Last night I spent the night with my awesome kids at BBC. We are practicing the drama for the Lifehouse song All I Need. They made some really great progress. I can't wait to see the finished product. We sat around until the wee hours of the morning talking about so many things. First it was Rebecca and her dating questions. Again, not saying anything bad about anyone, I just feel that the guy should pay for certain things like dinner and movie tickets. But to each his own I guess. Then we moved on to a lot of talk about the differences in Baptists. WOW. I was shocked that these teenagers who have grown up in church all thier lives had very little understanding of what the church they attend actually believes when it comes to predestination and eternal salvation. So we talked all that stuff out and then proved the existence of God, solved a few of the worlds major problems and it was off to bed.
4:00am. Rain so loud it wakes me from the previous 30 minutes of sleep. I lay there wondering what the storm looks like. Then a few minutes later Jamin awakes hungry and on a mission. His mother is there, faithful and sure to take care of him. She really is an amazing mom, wife, friend, lover, you name it!
8:00am. Taking a shower in the church office. Wondering just how tired I am going to be the rest of the day.
9:00am. Realizing that I am starting off the day in a hole. My forgetful mind yet again has inconvenienced myself and others but all works out ok.
2:00pm. Leaving work to go home and sleep.
3:00pm. Been home for a while now but watching episodes of Scrubs and The Office online.
4:30pm. Finally decide to sleep. But can't. My brain won't stop. Typical.
5:30pm. Leslie is coming home. She calls to let me know.
6:15pm. Out of bed from I think what was a total of 20 minutes of sleep. Get dressed and drive to Bellevue.
7:00pm. Lost in Cross Timbers subdivision. I hate my sense of direction.
7:10pm. Taking pictures with Anna, Jenny and Nathan. They all look so wonderful. I hope they have a good time tonight at Prom.
8:00pm. Eating a Chick-fil-A sandwich wishing I was home in bed.
Tyler is really turning into someone I didn't expect. He is growing up. He serves even when I know he wants a full-time part in the drama. But he's reliable and steps in to help when we need him.
Rebecca is really doing a great job directing the drama. I hope that she will realize that this is one way that her passions and talents can be played out to glorify God.
Lauren brought two friends last night. That was awesome. It was good to see that she thinks enough of her youth group that she is willing to bring her best friends into it.
Emily is going to be missed. She is scared and confused but I can't really blame her. She is standing on the verge of an amazing adverture. I hope she can find a new love for the complete satisfaction found only in God.
Father,
It's been a very rough past couple of days. I've been tired, sleepless, weak and vulnerable. Lord, my defenses have failed. I hate being here. I hate being so tired that fighting seems useless. I realize I need to take better care of myself. I will. I will be more careful when planning my time and make sure that there is time for rest. It's been so long since I have just rested.
I hate feeling like this. I just feel blank. Please fill this blank Lord. Refocus me, renew me, reenergize me. I love you. I'm sorry I haven't spent as much time with you as I normally do.
4:00am. Rain so loud it wakes me from the previous 30 minutes of sleep. I lay there wondering what the storm looks like. Then a few minutes later Jamin awakes hungry and on a mission. His mother is there, faithful and sure to take care of him. She really is an amazing mom, wife, friend, lover, you name it!
8:00am. Taking a shower in the church office. Wondering just how tired I am going to be the rest of the day.
9:00am. Realizing that I am starting off the day in a hole. My forgetful mind yet again has inconvenienced myself and others but all works out ok.
2:00pm. Leaving work to go home and sleep.
3:00pm. Been home for a while now but watching episodes of Scrubs and The Office online.
4:30pm. Finally decide to sleep. But can't. My brain won't stop. Typical.
5:30pm. Leslie is coming home. She calls to let me know.
6:15pm. Out of bed from I think what was a total of 20 minutes of sleep. Get dressed and drive to Bellevue.
7:00pm. Lost in Cross Timbers subdivision. I hate my sense of direction.
7:10pm. Taking pictures with Anna, Jenny and Nathan. They all look so wonderful. I hope they have a good time tonight at Prom.
8:00pm. Eating a Chick-fil-A sandwich wishing I was home in bed.
Tyler is really turning into someone I didn't expect. He is growing up. He serves even when I know he wants a full-time part in the drama. But he's reliable and steps in to help when we need him.
Rebecca is really doing a great job directing the drama. I hope that she will realize that this is one way that her passions and talents can be played out to glorify God.
Lauren brought two friends last night. That was awesome. It was good to see that she thinks enough of her youth group that she is willing to bring her best friends into it.
Emily is going to be missed. She is scared and confused but I can't really blame her. She is standing on the verge of an amazing adverture. I hope she can find a new love for the complete satisfaction found only in God.
Father,
It's been a very rough past couple of days. I've been tired, sleepless, weak and vulnerable. Lord, my defenses have failed. I hate being here. I hate being so tired that fighting seems useless. I realize I need to take better care of myself. I will. I will be more careful when planning my time and make sure that there is time for rest. It's been so long since I have just rested.
I hate feeling like this. I just feel blank. Please fill this blank Lord. Refocus me, renew me, reenergize me. I love you. I'm sorry I haven't spent as much time with you as I normally do.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Just not enough time!!!
If you're anything like me you feel that you have about 28 hours of stuff to do in a 24 hour day, not including the sleep you most desperately wish you could get. The truth be told, I'm really not that busy. I go to work, just like everyone else, I have yard work, house work, family time and ministry time every week just like a ton of other people. But I feel like I'm sinking. I have this terrible headache and the dread of what is to come in the next 48 hours. First, I have to work until 6pm today, then it's straight to church for a lock-in that starts at 7pm and doesn't end until 8am tomorrow. After that it's right back to Chick-fil-A for a 9am - 6pm shift then back to Bellevue to take prom pictures with some of the kid's in my group. Then guess what? It's back to Smyrna for a 9pm - midnight CFA appearance at a local gamestop for the release of Mario Cart. I'll get home after 1:00am on Sunday morning, and be up no later than 7am Sunday to be at church by 8:15am. I'll leave church after noon, do some work for a friend then be back at church at 4:30pm and not leave until 8:30. Then it all starts again!
The worst part is that I've done this to myself. I make my own schedule every week for CFA and the church. I need to manage my time better. Had I remembered the lock-in I wouldn't have planned the thing at Gamestop. Had I remembered the prom pictures I wouldn't have planned the thing at Gamestop. Had I realized how nice it was going to be today I would have worked yesterday and taken today off.
I see that the problem as not that I don't have enough time. I have the same amount of time as everyone else on the planet. The problem is that I fill my time up with too much stuff. I should work on that.
The worst part is that I've done this to myself. I make my own schedule every week for CFA and the church. I need to manage my time better. Had I remembered the lock-in I wouldn't have planned the thing at Gamestop. Had I remembered the prom pictures I wouldn't have planned the thing at Gamestop. Had I realized how nice it was going to be today I would have worked yesterday and taken today off.
I see that the problem as not that I don't have enough time. I have the same amount of time as everyone else on the planet. The problem is that I fill my time up with too much stuff. I should work on that.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Long Day
Today is going to be a long day. Hopefully a good long day but none-the-less it is going to be a long day.
I hope Leslie is able to get some sleep today. She was up and down with Jamin all last night and was so good to me to let me sleep through most of it. I really do have a great wife.
Last night the youth wen to Shoney's to eat. I was very glad to be there. Rebecca has such a beautiful heart and I can't wait to see what she's going to do with the drama team.
I hope Leslie is able to get some sleep today. She was up and down with Jamin all last night and was so good to me to let me sleep through most of it. I really do have a great wife.
Last night the youth wen to Shoney's to eat. I was very glad to be there. Rebecca has such a beautiful heart and I can't wait to see what she's going to do with the drama team.
Monday, April 7, 2008
My Feeling of Urgency
I went back to work today. Since Jamin was born on March 26th I've been enjoying the time at home. But going back to work was inevitable but very much undesireable. All I wanted all day was to see Leslie and Jamin. I wanted to be home so I could be with them. But work is a must and I realize if I'm going to be a good father I must provide and if I'm going to provide I must work.
The problem is that I'm only living out my passion part-time. See, I'm a part-time youth minister with full-time desires. I want so much to be able to be the husband and father who is satisfied with his career. Right now, I'm not. For instance, this week, I'll be working nearly 50 hours at Chick-fil-A then putting in at least my 20 for the church. That leaves me with just a few hours in the mornings and evenings each night to see my brand new son and my beautiful wife.
It doesn't leave me much time to enjoy yard work, working out, hanging out with friends, or finishing that all important degree.
So here I'm left with a choice. Not a choice to move or act, but a choice of my attitude. I could choose to be bitter. I could choose an attitude of resentment on my life because it isn't what I want it to me. I could choose to regret for missed opportunities. If I choose any of these attitudes what does that say about my perception of who God is? If I choose to be bitter, resentful, or regretful because I'm not where I hoped I would be in life then I'm percieve God as being one who does not have plans for my future and plans to prosper me. After all, those who are bitter, resentful and regretful are settling to stay in the place they are at and settling to live in that disatisfaction, I am not.
What I am choosing to be is satisfied. Not in my current job situation or time circumstances. I'm satisfied with God. God is enough. He is my eternal portion and regardless of what my life is versus what I wish my life was I know it all boils down to one thing. My God is enough, in Him I have hope, through Him I have a future, by Him I will prosper.
I may never be rich. I may never be a full-time youth minister. I may never make more money than I do right now. Regardless of this, God is enough. I need nothing else but Him. What I need, He will supply. What I don't need, I may never have.
Father,
You are enough. You are all I need. By your guidance I will be the man you designed me to be. Lord, you can see every desire I have. Desires to be full-time in youth minstry, to make enough money so Leslie doens't have to work, to be able to finish my degree, to save for Jamin's future. And Lord, I know there are events coming towards me to where I could inturrupt your timing. I have a history of jumping ahead of you. Please help me to resist this. In your timing all things will come to pass in perfect order. Father, I am satisfied knowing that you are in control. I don't want control. I don't want it because it's not mine to have. You know what's best. I trust this about you. Lead me to the place you can best use me and settle my heart there. If my desires are mine alone and not those you wish to give me then please change them so I may desire what you want. I just want to be used by you to point the world to the radiance of your glory. I just want to be your man.
The problem is that I'm only living out my passion part-time. See, I'm a part-time youth minister with full-time desires. I want so much to be able to be the husband and father who is satisfied with his career. Right now, I'm not. For instance, this week, I'll be working nearly 50 hours at Chick-fil-A then putting in at least my 20 for the church. That leaves me with just a few hours in the mornings and evenings each night to see my brand new son and my beautiful wife.
It doesn't leave me much time to enjoy yard work, working out, hanging out with friends, or finishing that all important degree.
So here I'm left with a choice. Not a choice to move or act, but a choice of my attitude. I could choose to be bitter. I could choose an attitude of resentment on my life because it isn't what I want it to me. I could choose to regret for missed opportunities. If I choose any of these attitudes what does that say about my perception of who God is? If I choose to be bitter, resentful, or regretful because I'm not where I hoped I would be in life then I'm percieve God as being one who does not have plans for my future and plans to prosper me. After all, those who are bitter, resentful and regretful are settling to stay in the place they are at and settling to live in that disatisfaction, I am not.
What I am choosing to be is satisfied. Not in my current job situation or time circumstances. I'm satisfied with God. God is enough. He is my eternal portion and regardless of what my life is versus what I wish my life was I know it all boils down to one thing. My God is enough, in Him I have hope, through Him I have a future, by Him I will prosper.
I may never be rich. I may never be a full-time youth minister. I may never make more money than I do right now. Regardless of this, God is enough. I need nothing else but Him. What I need, He will supply. What I don't need, I may never have.
Father,
You are enough. You are all I need. By your guidance I will be the man you designed me to be. Lord, you can see every desire I have. Desires to be full-time in youth minstry, to make enough money so Leslie doens't have to work, to be able to finish my degree, to save for Jamin's future. And Lord, I know there are events coming towards me to where I could inturrupt your timing. I have a history of jumping ahead of you. Please help me to resist this. In your timing all things will come to pass in perfect order. Father, I am satisfied knowing that you are in control. I don't want control. I don't want it because it's not mine to have. You know what's best. I trust this about you. Lead me to the place you can best use me and settle my heart there. If my desires are mine alone and not those you wish to give me then please change them so I may desire what you want. I just want to be used by you to point the world to the radiance of your glory. I just want to be your man.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
The Prosperity Gospel.
I love it when a man is willing to say the unpopular thing just because it's the right thing to be said. I have been to so many churches who preach that Jesus is some sort of luck charm and that Christians are recognized by their blessings. This is just not so. Christians are recognized by thier conviction over sin, the good fruit they bear and their activity in the will of God. Not by the clothes we wear, the cars we drive or the houses we live it. The fact is, all that glitters isn't gold.
Lord, may we truly be open to the true Gospel. Not the lies of health wealth and prosperity. You are all sustaining, all glorious and all we will ever need. I may never drive anything nicer than a nissan and I'm ok with that God. I just want you. All I want, all I desire is to bring praise to you. Teach me to do this. Tomorrow I have to go back to work. I need you so much to give me a holy perspective about work. I may not enjoy what I'm doing, but Lord, you provide and that is good enough. You have me where I'm at for a reason and I am happy to stay until you move me. Lord, you are in control. My life is yours to lead and direct. Please soften my heart to those I would normally overlook or dismiss. Help me to never be inconvenienced by someone in need.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Sabbath.
Today is going to be my sabbath, or in other words, my sit around in my house coat, only do things I want to and probably just be unproductive for the entire day day. I plan on reading, playing Tiger Woods 07' on the Wii and sleeping. There will be eating, watching videos on Godtube.com. Possibly a nap, and throughout the day I'll be hanging out with my son when he's not sleeping or eating.
Oh, and my phone will be turned off so you won't be able to reach me. I'll talk to you tomorrow if I need to.
Oh, and my phone will be turned off so you won't be able to reach me. I'll talk to you tomorrow if I need to.
Friday, April 4, 2008
You are all I need!
Here in this place
Here where I sit
You are all I need
After all I've done
And after all I haven't
You are all I need
If I stay where I am
Or go somewhere else
You are all I need
If I sleep
If I wake
You are all I need
When will I learn
When will I know
You are all I need
When will I see
When will I find
You are all I need
When will I stop pretending
When will I confess
You are all I need
I know the right words to say
I know the right acts to do
But you are all I need
I do what I hate
I hate wat I do
You are all I need
I set out to do good
But I don't do it
You are all I need
Forgiveness
Patience
Acceptance
Mercy
You are all I need
Hope
Encouragement
Grace
Love
You are all I need
Here where I sit
You are all I need
After all I've done
And after all I haven't
You are all I need
If I stay where I am
Or go somewhere else
You are all I need
If I sleep
If I wake
You are all I need
When will I learn
When will I know
You are all I need
When will I see
When will I find
You are all I need
When will I stop pretending
When will I confess
You are all I need
I know the right words to say
I know the right acts to do
But you are all I need
I do what I hate
I hate wat I do
You are all I need
I set out to do good
But I don't do it
You are all I need
Forgiveness
Patience
Acceptance
Mercy
You are all I need
Hope
Encouragement
Grace
Love
You are all I need
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Now that I'm a Father
I don't really know what to say. I feel like I should have something to say but I really don't. Maybe it's the lack of sleep but I just don't feel like that is my son. How can someone like me even participate in the creation of someone so perfect like Jamin? I am humbled to think that God sees in me the ability to be this little guys father. I question that all the time. "God are you sure I can do this? Are you sure I can live the life that he needs me to live? Do I have what it takes?
I must because God didn't make a mistake when he made me Jamin's father. God must see something I don't.
My family came to visit me this afternoon. My mom and grandparents got to see Jamin for the first time. They were pretty excited. I was glad they go to to be here.
I've only got a couple more days off from work. I'm really bummed about that. The worst part of it all is that I haven't had one day since Jamin was born that I haven't recieved a phone call from work. On some occasions I get three or four calls from work. That has been the most draining part of it all. Just the simple fact that I'm already sleep deprived and not thinking clearly at times I get the phone calls from work that require me to think back weeks ago or think forward days ahead.
I don't want to return to work. I guess that's normal.
Father,
Please prepare me for the life that is ahead. I want to be such a good father to my son. I want to live a life that is inspiring and leading to Jamin. Help me to love as you love and be patient as you are patient. Please allow me to prosper as a provider for my family. Help me to see all the abundance you wish to bring into my life.
Father,
Please teach me humility. Strip from me all that is useless and unprofitable. Remove me from flattery and praise. Be the center of my life. Show me where you are working and please allow me to serve you there. Have me where you can best use me. No matter what!
I must because God didn't make a mistake when he made me Jamin's father. God must see something I don't.
My family came to visit me this afternoon. My mom and grandparents got to see Jamin for the first time. They were pretty excited. I was glad they go to to be here.
I've only got a couple more days off from work. I'm really bummed about that. The worst part of it all is that I haven't had one day since Jamin was born that I haven't recieved a phone call from work. On some occasions I get three or four calls from work. That has been the most draining part of it all. Just the simple fact that I'm already sleep deprived and not thinking clearly at times I get the phone calls from work that require me to think back weeks ago or think forward days ahead.
I don't want to return to work. I guess that's normal.
Father,
Please prepare me for the life that is ahead. I want to be such a good father to my son. I want to live a life that is inspiring and leading to Jamin. Help me to love as you love and be patient as you are patient. Please allow me to prosper as a provider for my family. Help me to see all the abundance you wish to bring into my life.
Father,
Please teach me humility. Strip from me all that is useless and unprofitable. Remove me from flattery and praise. Be the center of my life. Show me where you are working and please allow me to serve you there. Have me where you can best use me. No matter what!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Jamin Is Here!
For all those who are keeping count he was born Wed. March 26th at 4:56pm. He weighed in at 7 pounds 9 ounces and was 19 and 1/2 inches. Enjoy!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
In the Beginning
So I admit that this beginning isn't nearly as profound or significant as some other beginnings that have occured so far, but none the less, I'm here. Leslie and I are getting ready to start a part of our lives that will be both terrifying and beautiful. We are having our first son in just a few days, actually it could be today, tomorrow or next week. Whenever Jamin is ready to get here he'll come.
Having a son is terrifying me simply because I don't know if I'm going to be any good at being his father. Sure everyone tells me I'm going to do great and I know I'll try really hard but I'm finding out this is one of those things in life that you really just never know. My friend Emily was the first I've heard say that "you never have the experience you need until it's too late."
Having a son is going to be beautiful because I know that being a father is one of the great desires of my heart. God has been so good to Leslie and me. I look around at other young boys of all ages and wonder if Jamin is going to be anything like them. I can't wait to see him, smell him, feel him in my arms, hear him cry, watch him sleep. I can't wait for that first step, that first word. Then again I hope it all doesn't flash before me and is gone before I know it. I hear so many parents talk about how they wish they could have all the time back again to do it all over because they feel like it all went so fast. I really don't like this idea. So, whether I'm successful or not I am going to do all I can to slow time with my son down to a point to where I really can enjoy him to the fullest.
Life is changing. Forever, to never be the same. That's ok. God only has the best in mind for me. I delight in knowing He holds the universe in check and that He is big enough to be in control of my life.
Lord, please prepare me for the calling of fatherhood. Prepare Leslie for motherhood. We want to be the best parents we can be. We will raise Jamin as your child. Teaching him your love. Thank you for giving him to us. Lord, we will be good stewards of this life you have given us.
Having a son is terrifying me simply because I don't know if I'm going to be any good at being his father. Sure everyone tells me I'm going to do great and I know I'll try really hard but I'm finding out this is one of those things in life that you really just never know. My friend Emily was the first I've heard say that "you never have the experience you need until it's too late."
Having a son is going to be beautiful because I know that being a father is one of the great desires of my heart. God has been so good to Leslie and me. I look around at other young boys of all ages and wonder if Jamin is going to be anything like them. I can't wait to see him, smell him, feel him in my arms, hear him cry, watch him sleep. I can't wait for that first step, that first word. Then again I hope it all doesn't flash before me and is gone before I know it. I hear so many parents talk about how they wish they could have all the time back again to do it all over because they feel like it all went so fast. I really don't like this idea. So, whether I'm successful or not I am going to do all I can to slow time with my son down to a point to where I really can enjoy him to the fullest.
Life is changing. Forever, to never be the same. That's ok. God only has the best in mind for me. I delight in knowing He holds the universe in check and that He is big enough to be in control of my life.
Lord, please prepare me for the calling of fatherhood. Prepare Leslie for motherhood. We want to be the best parents we can be. We will raise Jamin as your child. Teaching him your love. Thank you for giving him to us. Lord, we will be good stewards of this life you have given us.
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