In the song, "What Do I Know of Holy" by Addison Road there is a line that says, "I tried to hear from heaven but I talked that whole time." When I first heard that line on the radio something struck me pretty hard and pretty deeply. The following lines of the song say, "I think I made you too small. I never feared you at all, no." Something inside of me woke up as those words played on the radio in my car. I didn't really know what to make out of it at the time but as I heard the song over and over again the Holy Spirit began to identify who I was being through the words of that song.
I am a pastor. I am a preacher. I am a teacher of the Word of God. I have been set apart as one who is destined to live as a prophet to God's people as well as the lost. Prayer is a non-negotialbe aspect of my life. It's not something I can do without. So I pray. I wake up, fuzzy headed and someone confused and stumble through some sort of prayer thanking God that I'm alive yet another day. I ask Him to prepare me for the day ahead. Then when I get into the office I pray again. I spend time searching God's word and praying for confidence and direction for my life and ministry. Then I pray some more through out the day, asking God to help me say the right words to hurting people in the hospitals or to have something significant and meaningful to share with students at the schools. I pray that I would see the opportunities God is granting me to minister to His people. Then I go home and I pray for Leslie and Jamin. I pray for our finances and I pray for our time together as a family. I pray for people who have asked me to pray. I pray a lot. But something I've noticed about my prayers is that they are filled with my words. They are filled with my whispers of my thoughts and my ideas. They are filled with my attempts to say the right things to God in such a way that He would hear them, be pleased and grant me whatever it is I'm asking Him for.
What God started to show me through the words of that song is that even though I pray a lot I really don't even know what I'm doing. I've been reading a book called, "Walking with God" by John Eldredge. In that book John talks very candidly about his prayer life. He gives specific examples of what he prays, how he prays, when he prays and the amazing thing for me is he cites time and time again of how he has actually heard from God in the same moment he was praying. Rarely has this ever happened to me. It has happened but not nearly as regular as John says it happens to him.
So I've been working on that lately. I've been working on the fact that I pray so much but hear so little. Here are just a few things I've been doing lately to try and refocus my prayers.
1. I ask God what I should pray. I stop to ask God what needs to be prayed for. When something comes to my mind I pray for that. I try to be open to whatever God puts on my mind to pray about. I pray for for those things until God places something else on my mind to pray about. This goes on for some time. Sometimes a long time, other times not so long. By asking God what to pray for I am submitting my efforts in prayer to His will. Essentially, I'm aligning my prayers with His heart.
2. I use less words than I used to. I try not to fluff my prayers with anything that is not essential to the meaning of what I'm trying to say. I try not to tell God what He knows. I come to God with an attitude in my heart that reflects my understanding of who He is and who I am and I leave it at that. God doesn't need directions on how to help me. I simply bring my desires to Him and ask him simply to work it all out to bring Him glory. I don't dress my desires up in fancy religous lingo. I just simply say, God, I really want......to happen in my life. Please make it happen. Then I let that be it. If He grants it the way I desire, then great. If not then my desire must have been outside of His will for my life and I trust that God's will is much better than anything I could think of on my own.
3. I ask very specific questions and wait for the answers. This is where it gets really tough. Sometimes I ask God for things in generic ways. I say things like, God show me what you want me to do. Or, God lead me and I'll follow. These things in essence aren't bad things to pray. I just think they are too broad for us to really get any definate answer most of the time. So now I pray about specific things. I pray, God should I go to the schools today? If yes, then, God who should I sit with? And so on. Sometimes we start out specific. Like, should we do.... Then we just leave it at that. We get step one but never ask about step 2, or 3 and so on.
So, those are the three things I've been working on in my prayers. I'm still no pro at it but as far as I can tell these things are making a difference in how frequently I hear from God while I pray. It's been amazing on the few occasions I've really heard definate answers from my Father. I know it will take time to build up my receptiveness and to really hone in on my connection with God's voice but I know I'll get there. Most people would say that prayer is a spiritual discipline. That means we have to practice it, learn new things about it, and work at it to become good at it. I think any one of God's children can pray. But just like a child who grows and understands how to communicate better as they mature, we too must grow and mature in the way we speak to God. If you are speaking to God the same way you did a year ago, 2 years ago, 5, 10, 15 or 20 years ago then something just isn't right. Imagine if a person stopped maturing in their communication skills at 3 years old. Well, that's what we do sometimes. We stop advancing our understanding of how to pray and we don't seek to understand more effective ways of talking with God. I hope my three steps help and if you have any others that are helpful to you why don't you share?